Jerking
off, pounding the pudding, jerking the gherkin, buffing the banana, choking the
chicken, flogging the log: there are certainly more slang terms for
masturbation than you might imagine. There are also plenty of social
standpoints ranging from ‘It’s a wicked sin’ to ‘Go ahead and enjoy it’. So
let’s take a break from all the debate and go for what’s certain: Scientists
and doctors say that masturbation is good for you.
So you’re settled in front of your computer.
The Kleenex is handy, you’re checking out some hardcore ghetto hood sex on
gilschoke.com. You’re about to try
out the full list of slang terms for masturbation and you might just invent a
few new ones yourself. How’s this going to be good for you?
Cancer prevention
A
study conducted in Australia in 2003 found that men who cum five times a week
have a 33% lower chance of getting prostate cancer. The study concluded that
ejaculating helps the body to get rid of toxins. Well, that’s a nice way to
detox: much more fun than all those diets that have you living off vegetable
juice!
It builds your muscle
As
we get older, our muscles lose tone and so do the pelvic floor muscles. As they
get weaker, the chances of erectile dysfunction increase. Three to five ‘workouts’
a week will keep you in shape. You’ll thank yourself in years to come and you
could end up saving yourself a fortune in Viagra!
It boosts the immune system
Endocrinologists
will tell you that ejaculating increases the levels of Cortisol in your body.
This hormone regulates the immune system. If one wants a good, strong immune
system, part of the answer is literally in your hands.
It boosts your sexual staying power
It’s
a bit like going to gym. When one starts, one can’t do too many reps, but as time
goes on one starts pumping the iron like a pro. Guys can train themselves to
last longer by masturbating and if they suspect that tonight’s going to be a
good night with a lady they hope to impress, they can improve their staying
power by masturbating an hour or more before the date.
It gives you a lift
The
scientific way to say this would be: ‘Your body secretes dopamine and
oxytocin.’ Another way to say this would be ‘Choking the chicken makes you feel
good.’ You don’t need drugs to give your brain a burst of feel-good stuff!
You’ll sleep better at night
We
all know that post-orgasmic sleepiness. If you’re suffering from insomnia, you
can often put yourself to sleep nicely by masturbating. Going without sleep is
very bad for you and masturbation can help you to sleep. It’s easy to see where
this is going…
